In the tender unfolding of my daughter's first year, I found myself immersed in a symphony of laughter, tears, and countless moments that reshaped the very core of my being.
My journey into motherhood became a sacred dance with vulnerability and self-discovery, guided by the tiny hands of my daughter. In the delicate balance between nurturing her and navigating societal expectations, I unearthed the courage to be disliked—a gift of liberation.
This is not merely a story of a mother and her child; it is a testament to the power of love, authenticity, and the invaluable lessons drawn from the wisdom of Kishimi and Kishimi in "The Courage to Be Disliked."
A Tiny Guru in a Nappy:
My daughter, a pint-sized philosopher wrapped in blankets, emerged as my greatest teacher. In her guileless laughter, I discovered the melody of authenticity—a tune so pure that it resonated with the deepest recesses of my soul. Her unfiltered joy in every discovery was a silent call to arms, urging me to shed the layers of pretence and societal expectations that had accumulated over the years. Yeah nah...fuck that.
Navigating the Pressure to Conform:
The societal pressure accompanying motherhood is a relentless storm—one that threatens to drown the authenticity out of a new mother. In the pursuit of being the perfect mom, I realised I was sacrificing fragments of my true self. My daughter's innocent gaze prompted a reckoning; why was I contorting myself to fit into molds constructed by external forces? It was a moment of clarity, a call to embrace the courage to be disliked and be true to my authentic self. I. Am. Enough.
Practical Steps I Implemented to Embrace Authenticity:
Reflect on Your Values: In the quiet moments, delve into the core of your beliefs and values. Understand what truly matters to you and let those values guide your decisions.
Practice Self-Compassion: Motherhood is a journey fraught with challenges. Be gentle with yourself. Understand that imperfection is not a flaw but a testament to your humanity.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect your well-being. Say no when necessary and prioritise your mental and emotional health. This will be met with resistance - especially family.
Celebrate Imperfections: Embrace the messiness of parenting. Realise that every stumble and fall is an opportunity for growth and connection.
Embracing Imperfection:
The first year of motherhood is a mosaic of triumphs and failures, each imperfection adding a unique brushstroke to the masterpiece of our shared journey. In the vulnerability of my daughter's presence, I learned that imperfections aren't hindrances; they're the threads weaving the fabric of our story. Her forgiving smiles and boundless love taught me that connection blossoms not in perfection but in the authenticity of our shared humanity.
Key Takeaways from "The Courage to Be Disliked":
As one does when you do not sleep, one night, I went down the rabbit hole of "self help books", and I found a good one!
Drawing inspiration from the insights of Kishimi and Kishimi, the courage to be disliked became my guiding light, reminding me of fundamental truths:
You Cannot Control Others' Perceptions: Understanding that the opinions of others are beyond our control is a liberating realisation. Embracing this truth allowed me to release the burden of seeking constant approval.
Live in the Present: The present moment is where life unfolds. By living authentically in the now, I discovered a newfound appreciation for the beauty inherent in each moment of my daughter's growth.
Authenticity Breeds Connection: The courage to be disliked doesn't isolate; instead, it fosters genuine connections. In being true to myself, I forged deeper, more meaningful relationships—with my daughter and with those who embraced my authenticity.
a special one from Liezl - usually when someone says something to "upset" me, when I step back I realise "that is their stuff, not yours". I now refuse to let the chaos of others define my day.
Freedom in Authenticity:
As I reflect on the tapestry of the first year, I am grateful for the unexpected lessons my daughter has bestowed upon me. The courage to be disliked, rooted in the writing of Kishimi and Kishimi, became my sanctuary. In embracing authenticity, I've found a freedom that transcends societal expectations—a freedom that allows me to savour the unpredictable beauty of motherhood without reservation.
This journey isn't just about motherhood; it's a heartfelt ode to the liberation found in the vulnerability of being unapologetically myself. My daughter, with her laughter and tears, has not only gifted me the experience of motherhood but has also been the catalyst for my own metamorphosis into a woman unafraid to be disliked—a woman who dances to the rhythm of her own authentic heartbeat.
xoxo
LS
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